Well, I can’t say that I’m having fun yet. It’s been more of a comedy of errors, without the comedy.

I started off well enough in Baltimore. The security lines were short, and I was prepared - shoes, belt, and jacket off, laptop out of the bag. I was at the gate very early and kicked back to enjoy a coffee. That’s when the enjoyment stopped.

My first leg of the trip was to Atlanta, but before we even hit the runway, the captain came on the speaker saying that the tower had to evacuate because of a fire alarm.

Now, it was a false alarm, but we were delayed a good 45 minutes.

That meant I had to run to my gate to catch my 3:50pm flight… and wouldn’t you know, the international terminal is on the other side of the airport. I think I need to exercise more, cause I was really out of breath. And I was worried that my bag wouldn’t make it.

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Okay… Now that I’m officially back in Baltimore - home from my two-week whirlwind of a tour that took me through five different countries and economies - I feel like I can be honest with you.

I don’t think all this growth is a good idea. I mean, when you’re in an emerging market, you expect certain things, like second-class toilets and cash-only bars. You don’t expect evil technology to throw you under a bus, or down an escalator, as was in my case.

I was minding my own business, making my way through what appeared to be a run-down train station from the late 1970’s. By the way, switching trains enroute to your destination is about a common as crossing the road here in the States.

Anyway, I’m with a group of tourists headed from the lower platform to the arrivals area where I’ll find out where my next train is leaving from. Everything was running smoothly. There are two escalators headed to arrivals: one is moving up and the other is stationary. I think it’s broken.

So while a group of folks step on the up escalator, I decide to get a hike in and head up the stationary side.

Big mistake, and I’ve got the bruises to prove it.

I wasn’t alone in my decision… Two fellows climed ahead of me. I had made it to the middle of the “steps” when the first guy gets to the top and triggers a sensor. Yes, this escalator was one of those new-fangled modern, energy efficient killers that starts working once someone crosses the fancy light sensor at the top.

Of course, this side of the escalator is headed in the opposite direction I am.

A battle ensues between little ol’ me, with my massive pack on my back, and the evil escalator. A mere three steps from the top, my legs are burning, and I’m stretching forward to reach the top.

Unfortunately, my heavy bag shifts forward, and I stumble onto my hands and knees like a drunk trying to hail a cab.

Not pretty.

And to top it all off, I’m so friggin’ tired, I can’t get back up! I end up riding the escalator all the way down to get on the right side, which I should have just done in the first place.

You get my point, don’t you? Emerging markets shouldn’t just plop some new technology into old surroundings. They should warn you, or something. I much prefer the low expectations of places like, say, underground bars with unusual names.

Take the Alligator, for example.

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