Okay… Now that I’m officially back in Baltimore - home from my two-week whirlwind of a tour that took me through five different countries and economies - I feel like I can be honest with you.

I don’t think all this growth is a good idea. I mean, when you’re in an emerging market, you expect certain things, like second-class toilets and cash-only bars. You don’t expect evil technology to throw you under a bus, or down an escalator, as was in my case.

I was minding my own business, making my way through what appeared to be a run-down train station from the late 1970’s. By the way, switching trains enroute to your destination is about a common as crossing the road here in the States.

Anyway, I’m with a group of tourists headed from the lower platform to the arrivals area where I’ll find out where my next train is leaving from. Everything was running smoothly. There are two escalators headed to arrivals: one is moving up and the other is stationary. I think it’s broken.

So while a group of folks step on the up escalator, I decide to get a hike in and head up the stationary side.

Big mistake, and I’ve got the bruises to prove it.

I wasn’t alone in my decision… Two fellows climed ahead of me. I had made it to the middle of the “steps” when the first guy gets to the top and triggers a sensor. Yes, this escalator was one of those new-fangled modern, energy efficient killers that starts working once someone crosses the fancy light sensor at the top.

Of course, this side of the escalator is headed in the opposite direction I am.

A battle ensues between little ol’ me, with my massive pack on my back, and the evil escalator. A mere three steps from the top, my legs are burning, and I’m stretching forward to reach the top.

Unfortunately, my heavy bag shifts forward, and I stumble onto my hands and knees like a drunk trying to hail a cab.

Not pretty.

And to top it all off, I’m so friggin’ tired, I can’t get back up! I end up riding the escalator all the way down to get on the right side, which I should have just done in the first place.

You get my point, don’t you? Emerging markets shouldn’t just plop some new technology into old surroundings. They should warn you, or something. I much prefer the low expectations of places like, say, underground bars with unusual names.

Take the Alligator, for example.

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The news is great in emerging markets…India’s growing middle class can now afford servants.

The boost in Brazil’s currency makes the country’s treasury bonds more attractive than ever.

And Russia, China, India, Malaysia, South Korea and Brazil still look like great bargains compared to the U.S.

Is this all easy money ripe for the pickin’?

Not exactly…with oil jumping $11 last Friday, inflation running rampant on forecasts of $5 gas and Wall Street’s banks sinking deeper into the abyss investors are grinding their teeth figuring what to do next.

The mental horsepower needed to extract profits from these storm-tossed markets has never been greater. That’s why I was truly dismayed to read a front-page story in our hometown Baltimore Sun about American teenagers who will be our future business leaders.

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First it’s Japan, and now India. 

When Toyota announced its first annual profit drop in nine years, it pointed to the U.S. as the culprit. Then, in the same breath, Toyota acknowledged a stronger shift to emerging markets like China, Latin America and the Middle East. That was on May 8th.

Four days later, India outsourcing tech giants Satyam Computer Services (NYSE: SAY), Infosys Technologies (Nasdaq: INFY) and Wipro Technologies (NYSE: WIT) are giving the U.S. the bum’s rush as well.

In a May 12th article in the India Times, the three major IT outsourcers, which have a combined market cap of $52.7 billion, said that they’re moving on to emerging markets as the U.S. “lurches towards recession in the wake of the subprime crisis.”

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